Saturday, December 31, 2005
Will go quickly.
As quick as water down the drain, and smoke up the chimney. As quickly as $2.69 per gallon of gasoline goes through a 22.4 mpg car.
So my big little man, we will try to slow it down. We won't hurry. We will try not to scurry, and just take
Sometimes I want to wake you up from a nap, so I can see you smile, laugh and bat your hands at your toys, picking them up and gumming them. But I know you need your sleep, because, did you know you GROW in your sleep?
Yep. And your daddy weighed you yesterday. Twenty pounds. No wonder I can hardly pick you up when you're in the car seat. Sheesh. But you're not fat, not even a bit chubby as babies go. You're lean. Like your daddy.
So, back to
It has wings. It flies. You'll see. One day you won't be able to reach the sink, then one day, you will. And you'll hardly have blinked your eyes.
I love you Eddie, I love you all the time in the world. All the hours, minutes and seconds. With wings.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
He just woke up and rubbed his eyes. Oh My Gosh is that cute or what. Then he smiles at me. (melt) He watches me blowdry my hair, curl it, and then watches me silently while I put makeup on. He recognizes me both ways. Amazing. That's the word of the year. He's here and he's now. And they are both mine. (mine mine mine) I hope to never forget what it feels like to be watching over him all day and night. It's exhausting, fun, hilarious, tiring, giggly, silly, and sometimes exacerbating. And I love every second of every minute of every month of it.
I can't wait until now. I can't wait until then. I can't believe this is happening to me. (you can't know until you know) I don't want to wait anymore. I'll take each minute as they come. I promise to not 'wait' until you can talk to take you to the zoo. I promise not to 'wait' until you can walk to take you to an amusement park. I promise not to wait.
And you apparently can't wait any longer to get that diaper off your butt. Gotta go, can't wait.
So we won't wait.
I won't wait until I love you more. I couldn't possibly wait. One. More. Minute. I love you this much. Now.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
I think we take it for granted. Our Heart. As you lay sleeping my precious little baby boy, your heart is beating. And as of a few minutes ago, your heart has beat no less than 18, 390, 672 times. And you have taken over 3,831,390 breaths. May you continue to take many, many more.
I also think that we take our time with each other for granted. There are times when I'm trying to finish the dishes and you're paging me. Sigh. I get just the slightest bit irritable, thinking, "gosh, I just need to get something done". And to snap me out of it, I turn to you and say "I love you". Then you smile. Irritation gone. Dishes still in sink. But I'm not going to take you for granted.
My heart beats for you. When you were just a little little baby, resting you close to me regulated your heart beat. And your temperature. And having you so close to me bonds us together in more ways than we will *ever* understand. It is the invisible mark you have on me. You know my heart beat from anyone else. It is music to your ears. It is bursting full overflowing and infinitely capable of love for you. Beating out a song of love that any mother instantly knows even if she's never heard it before.
Rest easy my dear child. Your heart will keep beating. Your lungs will keep breathing. And I will keep loving.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
I thought for sure you'd be crankier than an old wet hen but you've proven to me, yet again, that you're resilient, flexible, and that you are your Mommy's baby. Nothing keeps you from eating. Not even mouth pain.
And now you're wanting "real food". I see you. At the table, mouthing and mimicing us. Pushing your lips together, gums touching two "wittle" teeth. And when I put a spoon to your mouth you open WIDE like a little birdie. And OH MY GOSH the glass issue. Your arms flailing that serious look impending on your face, you look like you are getting ready for takeoff. Grabbing the glass with your hands that don't quite know what to do with themselves yet....and somehow you know that glass goes to mouth.
Christmas is right around the corner. And so are your two front teeth. I'm lucky enough to catch glimpses of them all day long, because you smile a LOT.
Monday, December 05, 2005
You are becoming so much more aware of where you are now too. That is so much fun - your eyes drink it in, sipping every last bit into your head. You aren't scared at all. And if you ever are, just remember I'll be right there to hold you and comfort you.
I'll take you everywhere with me. I love you.